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Opening the Wounds

The week after my local exhibit was over I hung two exhibits at universities in the urban center one hundred miles away. The newspapers have responded with articles that amaze me with their graphic language. They boldly address the issues involved. There is no turning back for me, no return to the closet. But I still want to say it wasn't so bad, others had worse, I survived. My pain was small- theirs was great. Does the desire to hide behind a mask grow from shame or pride?

The painting is inspired by the dream, however, I decided that it would be best to cut open the hidden wounds and let them heal with the scars on the outside. When I faced my fear of speaking by presenting a slide lecture, it was both a real and symbolic opening of the wounds.


Dream:

I was trying to explain the 3 different kinds of pain that one must live with. The person I was talking to was someone very detached, like a doctor. I said there is the pain caused by living under a great weight and the pain of having many cuts all over the body that heal over but leave terrible scars on the inside of the skin. The worst is living with all the bones being broken and pretending everything is OK.


Chapters: Intro | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08